You fix me.

Did you know..

That you are like a plaster?
You protect my wounds.
You make them heal.

I thank you so much. For every little thing you've done for me.

I want to tell the world.. that I'm a very broken girl.
But I have the best friends in the world. That will do anything to help me.

And I'm so thankful.
They know me at my worst and at my best.
They are there. Always.

I love you. I'd do anything for you.
This is for my best friends.

No one could ever replace you! ♥

Fucking life...

I haven't been blogging for a whole lot of time.

I'm sitting on my bed.
I'm feeling very miserable.

It's so nice that my friends tell me that I'm pretty.
But everytime I look in the mirror I think I'm ugly.
With a lot of make up. I feel a lot more comfortable.
But... with 'naked' skin.
I see all those blemishes.
I look like a really ugly monster.

I'm so sorry to say that.
But thats how I feel.

I feel stupid, ugly and unlovable.
Yeah. With my kind of problems I'm always annoying people.

And it's sick. But.. when a friendship is too good to be true.
You are always scared that something goes wrong.
That everything was - like usual - just imagination.

I'm the one that loves more.
Always.
I feel like it.

Last night.
I cried a lot.

I don't know what to feel anymore.
I'm unsatisfied. With everything in my fucking life.

Crying all day, crying all night.

This feeling.
I don't know what it is.
But I felt like crying every single minute of this week.
I cry a lot.
Not the whole time.
But now?
All I can think about are things that are making me sad.
I miss London.
I miss my friends. I miss my best friend.
I feel so miserable when I look in the mirror.
And I cry.
I look like a freakin zombie.
Pale, frizzy hair and dead eyes.
I am scared.
Scared of whats to come.
This is going too fast.
I want to get out.
Now.
So I cry. And I cry.
I am crying all day, and crying all night.

Kryptonite.

I don't want this to become a music-blog..But sometimes... a little music won't hurt.

And here it is, my kryptonite..
Men.
British.
Musicians.
Tattooed.
Remarkably different from whats 'normal'.

That. Exactly that is what makes me weak as shit.
Sorry, I'm not sorry.

Thank's to this awesome guy.

That's the perfect song right now. I should sing this in front of all those people on my graduation day.

Paranoid.

Sometimes.
I think those things.
Like my friends don't like me.

Like they talk bad about me.
That's sick.
I know.
But.. This has happenend to me so many times.

Am I just cautious?

Am I jealous?
I really don't know.

I think I'm a really bad friend.
And I'm sorry.
I don't want to get hurt again.

I don't want to be the one left again.
Do you know what I mean?

I love you..
But there were too many bad experiences..

It's all lies.

I'm not ugly?
Sorry, I have a mirror.

I'm not annoying you?
Then why do you treat me like I do?

I'm not dumb?
Then tell me why I study and put all my power into something and fail?

I'm not a loser?
Tell me, what did I win?

I'm not a failure?
Then why do I have all these problems?



Stop telling me I'm not and then treat me like I am.