These looks.

This moment,
when you feel naked.
At the clothing store,
waiting for your friend to come out of the cabin.
Looking for matching clothes.
I can feel people staring at me.
'What is SHE doing here?'
I feel how shop assistants look at me.
They don't want me in their stores.
I'm scum.
Even at the men's department.
They have this particular 'you are disgusting' look in their eyes.
That just hurts so much.
When people say 'You're some pretty girls' to my friends,
and in know exactly that they exclude me.
I'm just disturbing.
These guys flirt with my friends,
and I'm always standing there like. 'Hey, I know I'm ugly and fat, nice to meet you too'
Why do you guys always ask me why I never join you when you're going out?
Isn't it obvious?
Do you REALLY believe, when I tell you, I'm not in the mood?
When I say, I'm not the party type?
I really love to party.
But I always stopped people from having fun.
I'm the ugly friend.
And I don't want to go out, because I don't want to end up feeling like shit!
After these moments, I spend nights crying.
I hate this.
I hate me.
I need to be myself.
Couldn't there be an instant fat loss?
A huge weight loss?

You shouldn't care what others think.
But if they don't stop treating like you're a third class person (or just like shit),
you can't ignore them.
And actually, I'm not mad at people.
I just agree with them.
But I think they could be a little nicer.