Self-destructive

I don't know why,
but why are women so self-destructive?

They overthink everything and turn something unimportant to the biggest problem the ever had..
until then..

If we hear someones talking shit about us, we want to know who and what.
Even everyone knows it's crap.. we still feel bad.

We keep focussed on the bad things that happend.

WHY, just WHY can't we be happy little girls?

Amazing

My heartbeat's racing.
My hands feel like shaking.
In my stomach there are hundrets of butterflies.
My eyes are 'bout to cry.

I don't really know how to deal with this.
That's it.
That's the point.

Videos.

It's like you give me something,
so wonderful.
And then you take it away.

Do you want me to chase it?

Are you telling me that there are opportunities for me?

Or is this just torture?
I don't know.

These butterflies inside me, make me wanna vomit.
Because I don't know how to feel.

I just hope, there'll be an happy end.

A chance.

Could you give me a chance?
Please, I beg you.

I can't stand this.
And even if I have to wait a few years,
that'll be ok with me.

But please.
Give me,
give love a chance.

Fat Monster.

I hate it.
I eat. And I eat.
I know I should not.
And whatever it is,
it makes me want to throw up.
It really does.

I can't do it.
I don't want to know the fact, that I have become this far.
But I hate everything as it is now.

Everytime I eat, I eat, and I eat.
And then?
This feeling.
It just needs to get out.
I don't want to be that fat monster anymore.

I want to be who I am inside.
I am still trapped in that disgusting body.
This isn't me.

I tried to stop eating. I can't.
And I'm afraid of sports. No one should see me.
I don't want people to see this.
And I don't want myself to hear all those mean comments.
But you know, they're right.

Fat, disgusting pig.
Look in this mirror.

You shouldn't be eating.
Stop it. Ok?
Stop it. Forever.