Fucking life...

I haven't been blogging for a whole lot of time.

I'm sitting on my bed.
I'm feeling very miserable.

It's so nice that my friends tell me that I'm pretty.
But everytime I look in the mirror I think I'm ugly.
With a lot of make up. I feel a lot more comfortable.
But... with 'naked' skin.
I see all those blemishes.
I look like a really ugly monster.

I'm so sorry to say that.
But thats how I feel.

I feel stupid, ugly and unlovable.
Yeah. With my kind of problems I'm always annoying people.

And it's sick. But.. when a friendship is too good to be true.
You are always scared that something goes wrong.
That everything was - like usual - just imagination.

I'm the one that loves more.
Always.
I feel like it.

Last night.
I cried a lot.

I don't know what to feel anymore.
I'm unsatisfied. With everything in my fucking life.